Last Saturday I saw the oncologist again for the first time since the radiotherapy finished. It was meant to be a month earlier but I put it off, wanting a rest. I chose the female oncologist as I find her more direct and helpful than my original one.
It was fairly brief - how was it going on Tamoxifen? Anything else? She looked at my breasts and did something that I never thought anyone would ever do when they see my breasts again, she whistled under her breath! She was impressed that the irradiated breast is in such good shape apparently. It's not hard, nor puckered (around the scars yes because it's shrunk) but she was very impressed. This lead me to google pictures of post irradiated breasts to compare, but I couldn't find any, however, Cancer Research has this good little article radiotherapy on breast cancer side effects I have something called hyperpigmentation which means that under my arm and around that area, the skin is noticeably darker. This is permanent apparently. The oncologist was not bothered about that at all (but I guess it doesn't affect her, does it?) Anyway, apparently my breasts are in good shape so that's good news.
The ultrasound I had for the right breast was looked and the conclusion that it was scar tissue (which in fact has gone down a little recently). The operator had suggested an earlier mammogram than the 4 month after radiotherapy one scheduled and the oncologist didn't agree - she said that the radiotherapy causes all sorts of changes in the breast tissue months after the therapy and a mammogram earlier would not give my body to go through those changes, so it's a mammo in May.
It made me realise that in France, things go very slowly, you are not expected to recover in a flash and be all dancin, singin again. Augmentation is not done quickly - apparently in USA and UK, lipomodelling can be done 3-6 months after surgery. This is not gonna happen here. Maybe it's a good thing because it gives your body a chance to rest and recover and your mind too. I have the impression that it's everything in it's own time here, which is not the same as inattention or neglect.
Next time I see the oncologist is October with blood tests results to see what Tamoxifen is doing to my body. If I have any problems in the meantime, I can call though.
I have another prescription for physiotherapy as my arm is still not right and tends to get stiff and painful after a week without physio. The oncologist was surprised that I was still seeing a psychologist but asked if it was useful and I said it was so I'm carrying on with that.
And that was that. See her in October! So me and dh ran to the car and got out of there fast.
How do I feel about this all? I was very stressed before the appointment - a mixture of going back to the hospital with all the bad news that I'd received there and nervouseness about what she might say, I was near to tears. On the way back I was near to tears too - maybe relief, I don't know. To be honest, tears are very near at all times now, bit of a heightened emotional state. Would be great if that calmed down to be truthful.....
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