Well, last time I blogged I was expecting to see the oncologist on the weekend. But guess what? She cancelled. Apparently there were too many chemo patients so she had to see them. Fair enough, but one day before? With no chance of an appointment before Christmas - well, thank you very bloody much.
So, two weeks ago, I finally had the appointment I was waiting for. The oncologist prefers to put my case before the Commission again as there are radiology experts on that board who could best advise in my case. So, we wait. It was hard going back to the hospital again and I was surprised to find myself crying as I explained how depressed I was about this whole situation.
The oncologist said they would call me with the results of the Commision. So I waited and waited and waited. Now, two weeks after the appointment I found a quiet moment and plucked up my courage to call. Lucky to get through first time.
Apparently the Commission want me to do another MRI and if the breast comes back classed as ACR3, another biopsy. So, back to square one, like we were a year ago.
I quickly made an appointment for 31st January for the MRI in the nice radiology place in Paris and I wait, I wait and I wait to see what will happen..........
This whole situation is driving me absolutely crazy. I am so stressed and tired of the whole thing. I feel absolutely no support from my husband. He has huge problems with his work, but really, he offers no support and not even a hug. I am so disappointed in him. I know, nearer the time he'll say, grudgingly, oh I suppose you want me to come with you? Well, no, fuck you. I'll go by myself and cope, like I have always coped. Our whole family life is just splintering apart right now, for various reasons and I don't feel strong enough to deal with it. What I really feel like doing is getting on a train and leaving, for good.
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