It's been a long run of medical appointments. I've seen the cardiologist three times for an assessment, an ECG and what he described as the 'effort test' when I had to pedal a stationery bicycle for ages and ages and he monitored my heart as I did it. In fact, he said I kept going quite a long time, relatively speaking, and I was relieved to walk out of that appointment after hearing him say that there was no need that he could see for me to take heart medication and that I was just to keep an eye on my blood pressure. It seems that the radiation hasn't damaged my heart after all.
I then plucked up the courage to do the mammo and ultrasound. It was miserable as always there. I waited for ages, but at least now I know it's going to take ages so I plan. It was stressful, yes, of course it was. There were more moments during the ultrasound when the operator kept going over and over my painful scars and over and over various areas. In the end I cracked and said 'have you found something'? She said not and that nothing had changed since last time. I was relieved to get out of that appointment too, and to collect the results the next day.
And today I waited an hour - not so bad for this particular doctor. There are always emergencies to be treated in the World of Cancer and I always feel fortunate that it's not me with an emergency so I feel ok about waiting. There were a lot of old people in the waiting room today and a poor lady with a scarf and a mask over her mouth. She was taken away in a wheelchair for chemo I presume. It's such a bump down to earth seeing that, such a salutory reminder that I'm doing good and I'm LUCKY.
I have to say, when she asked me how I was, the word 'bien' came out in a very positive way, and I noticed that she was actually not looking so great herself. When you look and feel better than your doctor looks, there must be something going ok! In fact she explained that she's wearing a corset because she's hurt her back and it really does show on her face, she looks in pain. Hope she's prescribing herself some good drugs, perk of the job I guess.
The Doctor and I talked about the decision that the Cancer Committee had made in forcing me to wait another year for my reconstruction. I explained that it had made me very miserable. She didn't comiserate but I felt like she understood and she told me I'd already done 6 months and I only had 6 to go and it was for the better and the greater good this wait.
I explained that the surgeon had told me that he'd prefer to operate after the 2 year mark when the chances of it coming back were significantly lower. She said it wasn't about that at all but it was all about giving the flesh time to grow and recover and become more supple after the radiotherapy so the fat has a better chance of staying. I believed her. She's the dr that got me through radiotherapy. She knows what she's talking about.
Still odd to be examined again but I've sort of got used to it. I had an anxious moment when she put the xrays on the screen to examine them. I had a horrible thought that she'd find something they'd missed at the Cabinet. But she didn't and I was pleased to hear 'you're fine'. I don't have to have a mammogram for a year now but I'll see her in January and I have my prescription for Tamoxifen to keep me going another 6 months.
It was another appointment I was glad to leave and walk out of into the sunny day, hopefully leaving behind the hospital for another 6 months.
Next stop belated appointment with Doctor Pink for a gyne to make sure the Tamoxifen isn't giving me ovarian cancer. Great.
And then, the dentist (which I'm quite looking forward to because it'll mean all the other serious stuff is over for a few months).
And then the summer! Yey!
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