Dancing Queen

This video was sent to me by a friend, a short while ago, and apparently it's taking the internet by storm with over 2 million views.  It's an American, Deborah Cohan who dances her way round the operating theatre before she undergoes a double mastectomy.  I had mixed feelings about this.  I was not up for such a drastic operation but still I didn't feel like dancing around the operating theatre.  In fact I wouldn't have been allowed to,  nor been capable of, having already had a powerful pre op calmant.  Did that mean that I was not courageous nor 'brave enough' to dance around in the light of the 5 and half hour operation that faced me?  My entry into the operating theatre certainly wouldn't have been much fun on You Tube.  On the other hand, great that Deborah felt so happy she was undergoing the operation - she was obviously relieved to get to this point.  Each to their own.

The video has made the national news, primetime tv, magazines and newspapers in France, all of whom have saluted the 'courage of this young American woman'.  Many You Tube reactions were along the line of

Tears in my eyes ! you are soooooo brave, and, you rock girl ! wish you get well very soon, good health and keep on rocking :)

You're so inspiring ! Loved your beautiful positive spirit. You ROCK!!! I pray for you total and complete healing and speedy recovery . 

The latest newsletter from Rose Magazine beautifully encapsulated my mixed feelings.  A synopsis of the article entitled 'et Deborah Danse':

 The writer, despite searching, couldn't find a message in the video, she just saw someone in a 'charlotte' hat dancing.  Deborah's dance didn't tell any stories, for her, it shows that society would prefer us to accept cancer with joy and blot out death and suffering from the equation.  She doesn't know if Deborah is brave because she's dancing before the camera before her operation but she hoped that Deborah was brave coming out of the operation which would leave her in a very fragile state and in great pain for several months.

I don't know if Deborah was undergoing the operation as a preventative measure but the writer  evokes the 'paillette cancer' attitude which is being attributed to Angelina Jolie's recent decision to undergo a double mastectomy, but in fact she respects Jolie for her decision which is one she made because she was frightened about her beloved Mum's death of breast cancer, and she feels that it was courageous and put her career and sex symbol image in jeopardy and was done in discretion,  (no videos on You Tube).

The writer recounts that she knows plenty of brave women who have faced their operations with tears in their eyes and with bravado.  She knows others who turn up for chemotherapy treatments that will demolish their bodies without a guarantee that the cancer will be held back nor reduced.  She also knows many who have lost their job, their beauty, their social life, but nevertheless they continue to get up every morning, look after their children, without knowing that they will see those children grow up.

This, for the writer, is the reality of cancer that nobody forwards, tweets, shares, views nor 'likes'.

And for those who are scared, who worry or cry, what are they?  Cowards, not worthy of attention?

The writer does not blame Deborah Cahan as her dance was surely a moment of liberation for her.  The writer blames society that effaces visible cancer patients, hides the bare heads, the wigs, the apprehension that the cancer might return, the risk of dying and this image of a 'good cancer patient (une bonne cancéreuse).  A reassuring image for everybody - pastel slogans.  Keep up your spirits, don't cry!

The writer proposes a Zumba class ten minutes before every mastectomy so that everybody has a chance of being famous, their ten minutes of fame, their triumphant moment.

Allo ? T’as un cancer ? T’as un cancer et tu danses pas ? Allo ? Mais allo quoi !

(Hello? You've got cancer?  You've got cancer and you're not dancing?  Well, what's up with you then?')

And other reactions to the video on You Tube:

This is one of the sickest, craziest, egocentric, narcissistic things I have ever witnessed!!  An orchestrated, produced videotape with surgeons, nurses and "patient" joyously dancing!! This is "awesome", "inspiring", "you go girl"??  OK dancing relaxes her??  For all of us that have had major surgeries and cancer, who gives a s*** about this unprofessional, idiotic doctor??/patient-nauseating!!!!

This is a very disturbing video.  It appears to be an attempt to get attention or something.  And yes, it does look very staged.  I would not be comfortable with physicians and nurses dancing and acting foolishly right before any surgery much less a major one.  I mean....REALLY??!!!???

And here's the article itself:

http://www.rosemagazine.fr/Actus/Le-fil-Rose/Articles/Et-deborah-danse-11960/?scans

Postscript; I discussed this with the listening brunette psychologist, with whom I'm having weekly sessions, that have been going very well recently and have been extremely useful to me.  Her professional opinion was that she thought the video was extremely worrying. 

It was a good opportunity for me to talk about people's reactions to me and how to deal with them.