My lovely friend M accompanied me to the appointment today. We were early and glad to get out of the taxi with Gabbling Gaston. Despite being early, I was taken for treatment almost immediately. Back through the yellow door today. The manipulator did admit that it was only 17° in the blue door machine so it was more pleasant for her to work behind the yellow door, as it was to be treated there! There was a trainee today - a young guy. I felt quite ill at ease taking my top off in fron tof him and I felt his uneasiness too, it wasn't very pleasant.
I had been quite upset for most of Saturday, bursting into tears for no particular reason. I feel so uncomfortable about taking off my top every day in front of strangers time and time again (I know they have seen everything already but it's not about them but about me, how I feel), about lying still and passive on the bed whilst things are done to me, feeling the pain (sometimes not always) after each session and being in the general atmosphere of a hospital. This therapy is taking more out of me than I expected, I'm surprised at the effect it's having on me, I didn't expect it to be so hard.
Anyway, we waited a little for the taxi back after the treatment, had a cup of tea thanks to the kind tea ladies and made our way home for lunch.
Things to be grateful for: All thanks to M today! Thank you for crossing Paris to accompany me, for bringing lunch and our family dinner, for the treats from UK and the naughty box of Milk Tray, for the paperbacks, for the ironing, for not freaking out when we saw the bad cancer cases in the waiting room, for the company and chat and just for being there and helping me out today and keeping my spirits up. I am very very grateful.
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