So the taxi arrived on time, we arrived early at the hospital. I was seen almost immediately, just in time to see St L arriving to support me for this milestone morning.
My photo was taken for the files so I can be recognised by all of the staff. It's interesting that they ask me every time for my personal details, name, address, date of birth. I wondered if there were perhaps imposters who penetrated the oncology wing and impersonated people to get a dose of radiotherapy just for kicks!
The session began with a new thing - I had electrodes taped to my upper breast then on the side to check the amount of dose I was getting so the only way I knew I was in the treatment phase is that the electrodes were taped on then taped to the side, so the treatment is in two short phases. They also took more x rays to check the area because of my 'generous' breast area. What they really mean is the chunk of fat on my back but they are too polite to say so!
When I'm feeling uncomfortable or upset or anxious, I realise that quite frequently I feel angry with the person who is giving me the test or treatment and although I'm not rude, I feel antipithy towards them. Today I started feeling like this but suddenly half way through the treatment I just felt really grateful for them for being so nice and trying to put me at ease and do a good job. I hope I can continue the next 32 times to feel like that, it was a nicer feeling than fear or anger.
I didn't feel anything when the treatment was taking place. No particular noise, no heat, nothing. I find it very bizzare that it's totally invisible and soundless, it's still a bit creepy to me.
I had chance to chat to St L in the waiting room for a bit and we made our way upstairs. My taxi took me home and for a 9h30 appointment I was home at 10h30. It was good to have a chat afterwards, I think I'd have felt a bit 'flat' and alone if she hadn't been there.
Gaston Garrolous the taxi driver kept me entertained with his stories on the way home.
When I got home I did have some little electric shock feelings in my treated breast, more than usual but I'm not sure it was about the radiotherapy. I took it easy for the rest of the day.
Taking a leaf out of my friend's FB countdown to Thanksgiving posts, I've decided to find something each day that I'm grateful for, trying to keep it up for the duration of the treatment.
Today there are lots of things. I'm grateful for:-
The company of St L this morning
For a taxi driver who arrived on time and is very pleasant and kind
For the care and attention of the manipulators whilst I was on the table and their discretion
For the fact that I'm not the driver's 42yr old patient with an inoperable brain tumour who is going to die of cancer
No comments:
Post a Comment