Radiotherapy # 28, 5 to go

Quite a wait today, the yellow door was closed so everyone had to use the blue door.  I saw someone I knew in the waiting room - the Mum of one of Loic's friends with someone who was going for treatment.  Délicate situation - I didn't know if she wanted me to acknowledge her or not.  I said hello in the end and we talked about Christmas and our sons then I moved a bit closer when the man had gone through and she explained that it was her father and started crying.  I felt so bad for her and said how sorry I was.  I explained my situation a bit and we chatted, then I was called.  No doubt we'll see each other again.  She's very nice.

I had my own tears tonight.  I saw my own oncologist who examined my right breast and found the lumps to be scar tissue and possible fat necrosis but not cancer but something that needs keeping an eye on.  I asked him if it would always be like that and would it always hurt.  Hé said proably yes and that was the risk I ran by choosing the surgery I had chosen.  Great.

We then discussed the hormonothérapie which will commence immediately the radiotherapy ends, ie next week.  I have a prescription for a hormone level blood test, a full gynecological exam plus a pelvic scan pré tamoxifan.  He reccomended the first surgeon I saw Dr Pink as my gyne as I don't have much confidence in mine.  At least he knows me and my case and he's no stranger to cancer cases.  The scan is to check I don't have ovarian problems.

Hé also talked about the possibility of hormonothérapie lasting 10 yrs not 5.

I cried on the way home despite GG trying his best to engage me.  I cried because I just want something not to be wrong - constant pain and lumpy right breast where already the nipple is ruined and this was my good breast.  The skin continues to fall off on the radiated side and the breast continues to shrink.  This is really a horrible horrible time.

Today I'm grateful for the nice lady in the post office who gave us calendars and the hairdresser who took out Loic's lice and cracked them dead with her fingernails when I thought they had all gone and she didn't mind continuing the cut.  I was mortified, she was lovely so thanks lady.