Live and let live

January came around so quickly and with a host of strange weather - floods, storms,snow, ice, much much rain, together with a series of problems for us - repairs on a roof after tiles fell and leaks, car broke down twice in a week, central heating broke twice - all in one month.  I'm not superstitious I think, but I must be, a bit, as I hesitated with this roll-call of bad stuff happening, to make an appointment for a mammo, not wanting that to be part of the general disastrous-ness of January. 

Then in a fit of efficiency and not wanting to put things off any longer, I made an appointment at the dentist and for a mammo.  Getting the dentist took much longer than getting a mammo appointment and it was all scheduled rather quickly.

I worked on the day, to keep my mind occupied and pitched up a bit early.  The receptionists are really very efficient and business-like and I was called pretty much at the time of my appointment.  This is still such a change from the previous cabinet that I suffered for so, too, long.  Every time I go, I wonder why I didn't change earlier.  Anyway, mammo lady was lovely, didn't want to hurt me (although it did, just a bit) and the clichés were taken very quickly.  The tricky bit is the time in between the mammo and ultrasound for me.  It involves waiting in a nice comfortable cubicle with piped music but over that I was just listening to the nurses whispering between themselves.  We always think that it's about us and that they are whispering because they have bad news to tell.  At least that 's how I feel and it's agony and dreadful to wait, every time, because the truth is out there, to be read by someone who knows how to interpret these things and you have yet to discover it.

Anyway, after what seemed like an age, I was called by the ultrasound operator who very quickly got me lying down and straight to the heart of the matter.  She asked me the usual questions and told me quite quickly that she didn't see anything that caused her concern.  Ouf!  She was very pleasant and I mentioned that she must see so many people in such vulnerable circumstances.  She said 'yes we are all vulnerable'.

Drying the slithery cold gel off my 'breasts', I crept into the cubicle to sit down and take a big breath.  Checking out, my results were ready in a few minutes (really, the efficiency is great), got all my papers and envelopes back and walked without paying one single centime.  Again, praising the fabulous French system that allows me to undertake these expensive exams and not worrying about the cost.

I got a sandwich and a coffee and chilled in the posh patissiere next day and made my way home.  That's when my knees and legs starting shaking and I wanted to cry.  I was so relieved and the reaction was delayed but I was so relieved.  Another year to live, another year before I have to do it again, hopefully.  I am so grateful.

L and I shared a bottle of champage that evening.