Monday 16 December 2013

Radiotherapy # 20, 13 to go

I worked all day from 9h to 16h and the taxi picked me up at work for the journey to the hospital.  I waited a little while to be seen but the session passed quickly once I was seen with the experienced staff this evening;  I was the last appointment of the day.

I was shocked to see when I looked at my side in the mirror in the changing room because my underarm and side are now very dark brown so the redness which is like a sunburn is really starting to have the appearance of a burn now.  My lymph node scar has become ugly - angry red and brown and painful.  I slathered on Biafine but the whole chest and breast is red, itchy and tingly.

I am exhausted and I have a stomach ache.  I started cooking and my only big casserole dish exploded on the cooker with the food in it, I was already crying with what, I don't know, tiredness, fed up-ness, emotion, pain, I just don't know, when the children came back from the pool.  They saw I was sad immediately and gave me huge hugs and kisses, dh didn't, he sounded like he'd had enough of me, which made me sadder.  I just wanted a hug.  He just kept saying 'what's wrong, what's wrong?'

Today I'm grateful for the support of my colleagues at work, although I did a day's work fair and square, but they are understanding and  I'm grateful for the fact that GG was too tired himself to chatter away on the way home so I could stare out of the window.

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