Calm

Pretty calm day today.  I got some problems with the unemployment office sorted out (although it will be 3 months before I get any unemployment payments) and my new health card (carte vitale) actually arrived (6 months after having it stolen).  This one is 100% so I don't have to pay out for appointments and wait to be reimbursed.  This will make a difference to me.

I had a meeting with the psychologist that Dr Pink had reccomended, let's call her the Listening Blonde.  She's based in a normal house which is a 10 min bus ride from us.  It's a sort of Cancer Centre.  There's meeting rooms, places to do yoga and meditation, a kitchen and offices, a childrens' room with loads of toys and books, lots of adult books and information leaflets.  I spent around an hour with the psychlogist who is specialised in cancer issues.

I had a chance to speak about my feelings.  I felt like I spoke a lot and she didn't, but thinking about the session she actually gave me a lot of information and reassurance and she asked me some very pointed questions which helped me understand why and explained some things I was doing and feeling.  She validated my feelings - the ups the downs of this time -  following a diagnosis and before the treatment begins, so I felt normal and not like a whingey crazy woman and she helped me separate some issues out.  I said I feel like I'm going to run a marathon and like I've already done 10km but in fact I'm still on the starting line.

I got a chance to talk about what I wanted to and I asked her how to handle this cancer business and the children and LB had some good suggestions.

We made an appointment for next week.  I feel like this is the place to ask questions about the emotional aspect of it all, it's good to have that place.  We can also do the psychology with the family or the children, which might be a good idea once or twice so everyone gets a chance to express themselves.

I was then introducted to a group of patients who were there for a workshop.  I was a bit disappointed to see that they all seemed to be quite a bit older than me.  They were all friendly though.  I found it hard to tear my eyes away from one lady wearing a pretty hat.  The LB said that everyone who came had something to learn from the others and went on their journey together.  I'm sceptical that I'll fit in, but maybe if I go to some of the workshops this will come naturally.   There are workshops for yoga, meditation, pottery, drawing, written expression, sophrologie etc.  I'll do some of them when I'm feeling better after the op. 

And dear reader, this is all free of charge.