The choice for a lifetime?

Much cogitation over the we.  L was with me all day yesterday and I decided to try to see Patrice the oncologe to find out more behind the decision that was taken at the Commission.  Immediately I was corrected I said the Commission had 'decidé', he said no they have 'proposé', it's me who decides which way to go.  Ah.  Dr Pink, didn't say that although he did say I could refuse.

Patrice told me lots of things but not very much I felt.  It is all such a slippery subject.  We looked at the mammos again and I saw the calcifications going everywhere, we saw the mass and it's location.  He seemed to be indicating that the quadrant operation (scheduled for today) was still possible as well as a masectomy and it was also clear that they would not impose the option on me, it would be my choice.  I asked him what he'd do if his wife had the choice.  He didn't answer but said 'my wife's breasts aren't as big as yours'!  I said oh, shame for you!  I left feeling confused a bit but possibly more towards the masectomy, strangely.  L thought I'd be more towards the quadrant.  What I did come away with is that there is a risk for everything, even a masectomy where the cancer can develop in the chest cavity.  It was clear that tonight would decide everything.

My first thought when seeing Dr F, the plastic surgeon was why on earth, given his skills and the mates he must have, he had not had an operation on his own nose, but that's by the by really issn't it?

After looking at the results, asking mundane questions etc, his first question was 'do you like to play at Poker?'  Oh christ, a surgeon with a sense of humour.  Why?  Because he was going to give me 2 options and one of those was less sure than the other.

He drew on my breasts with his marker and explained the first option: a breast reduction for both breasts which included taking out the tumor and the calcifications - like the quadrant but with a nicer looking result instead of me looking like a shark had bit me.

Option 1 Bad points:
- There would be a risk that they don't take out all the bad stuff. 
- If there was still cancer I would have to have a masectomy for the left breast, nothing else would be proposed.  We would know around 3 months afterwards although cancer can develop later too, however I would be monitored closely.
- Breasts would be significantly smaller
- may have to do radiation afterwards

Option 1 Good points:
I would have nicer looking breasts and they would be pretty perky and possibly all the cancer would be gone.  I would keep both nipples.

Option 2
Masectomy of left breast with reconstruction using fat injections from my own body with breast reduction of right breast to match left.

Option 2 Bad points:
Lose my breast, and eventually both breasts would be smaller

Option 2 Good points:
More chance of getting all the cancer but nothing is sure as Patrice said

Dr Pink had told me that they would do an immediate reconstruction using my body skin and fat.  Ah but no dear reader, told you, they don't always tell the truth.  This nugget was for me the only saving grace for the masectomy, I would go under with 2 and wake up with 2 breasts.  This sweetener was put back into the sweetie jar last night.

Option 2 very bad point: The reconstruction would be done with injections of my own fat (and he noted I had plenty of adipose to spare).  However, the reconstruction would be done 6 months later to allow the skin to go stronger and mend after the op.  And the reconstruction would be over 4 appointments over 6 months.  So in one year I would have both breasts the same size (but smaller) and no nipple on the left (although they can tattoo and do stuff for that).

So I would spend 6 months with one very large breast and nothing on the other side except a false one in a bra.

Both operations will be 4 weeks recovery and 2 - 3 days in hospital.
Both operations would involve taking out a sentinel lymph node to see if the cancer has spread and this of course is another story.

It is entirely my choice between option 1 & 2

What would you choose?