Date

After chasing the secretary (no change there), she finally called me back yesterday, Thursday, with the date of 25th September for the operation (the day before my Birthday).  She told me to come in on Monday for a mtg with Dr F and the anethesia guy.  I wasn't available so finally she said ok come in today at 16h.  So, childcare was arranged hastily and dh came home early to take me there.

We saw Dr F who asked to take photos of me - I said 'well I suppose it's not my face you're going to photograph is it?'  No, get your top off.  It's a long time since someone took photos of me bare breasted!  I still feel very very uncomfortable and embarrassed when dh is in the room and he watches me get my top off for these Dr blokes and he sees them feeling my breasts.  I don't really want him to watch.  He doesn't understand why.  I hate it. 

I had the chance to ask some questions and whilst I was with Z this morning, I had a 'bling' moment - if he does the reduction and there is still some cancer then I will have, at least, the reduced-size breasts so if he has to take all the left breast, then he won't be obliged to wait 6 months to do a reconstruction because he'll be reconstructing a breast to match the smaller right one, so hopefully he'll be able to do an implant on the operating table at the same time instead of the fat injections months later.  He said 'that'll be me who decides but yes it's possible, probably'.  So this is great news, possibly, probably.

He's pretty kind too because he's prepared to reduce his fees if we don't get reimbursed by our health insurance for the excess above the social security reimbursement level, so that we aren't out of pocket.  And that is very welcome right now!

Then to the secretary who defied all secretarial expectations and was actually adorable, asking about the kids, explaining things, laughing, joking, kind.  Wow!  I had to write several cheques, one of which was for a special bra which I have to wear for 3 months afterwards apparently.  Least I'll get my moneysworth.  I'll have to take it off to wash it though, won't I???

She'd also arranged for me to see the anaesthesist who was in the facing office.  He was funny, sympathetic (so what brings you here my beautiful?  Cancer, oh that's hard for you') and kind.  He spoke some English and his voice which was strong and normal in French became really small and squeaky in English.  I thought he was taking the mickey at first but that was his 'English' voice!  Anyway we finished talking about Bayern Munich and Manchester United and that was the appointment done!  I just hope he looks after me right.

Then a big blood test, 7 test tubes.  The guy was pretty cool.  I warned him that I had trouble (fainting, hot flushes, nausea, small veins etc) this time, as the Macmillan Nurse who I spoke to on the phone suggested.   And he did it like a king - I have a tiny bruise and it really did not hurt and was not unpleasant apart from a few hot flushes.  I thanked him very much.

Then the admissions procedure where I booked my single room for 2 nights.  I've decided to go in on the day of the op instead of spending the night in the hospital.  Why be away from your family longer than necessary?

I was glad to escape after a couple of hours and see the kids again.  And go out for a meal with the Scottish bird and the English rose.  Thank you girls for the yummy meal, organic wine (a nod to eating organic) and the gifts and most of all, your company and your support.

It was quite a day today, I felt really down right from the moment I woke up and my head felt like it was everywhere and nowhere so it was good to see Z and the girls.