1st post surgery rdv

I didn't know what to expect, maybe a little look over and yes you're doing fine, ok bye.

The surgeon did a look over and then took off the hard round bandage (the mushroom cap) which was covering the transplanted nipple, both the nurse and the surgeon were looking over my chest at it anxiously.  When the stiches were removed all round, they both looked in intently with a 'ah, oui, c'est bon, ah oui, ok' so I knew someting, at last, had gone right.  The transplant had taken, it seems, so I have a nipple on both sides, so that was good news - at last something to rejoyce about.

The dressings were reapplied and I was told I can now have a full shower - yeah!

Up to now I've been topping and tailing but this morning I was actually nude in the shower without the horrendous heavy bra I have to wear 24/24.  It was sheer pleasure to feel the shower gently massaging my back and neck and chest and upper arms, the water running gently down, caressing and cleaning my skin.

I know that people say that you begin to appreciate the small things in life, and before cancer, I did try to, but that shower was a fantastic illustration of how a small thing can really be intensely appreciated and pleasurable.

It is harder to escape seeing my breasts, though as I have a mirror in the bathroom and a full length one as I come out of the bedroom, but I do not want to see those little bruised and battered things.

The issue of seeing my breasts didn't come up as I was in a little room for changing dressings only, there were no mirrors, not the surgeon's big office.

The surgeon insisted again that I could do the dressings myself and I explained that I couldn't actually reach, so he pointed at my husband indicating that he could do them.  I said that I preferred to have the reassurance of a nurse to tell me everything was as normal as well as to do the job properly.  I wonder if this insistence is something to do with dh learning to look at and to touch my breasts again?  And for me to alow him to do that so he can start the relationship with them again by touching and helping me.  Am I missing out on someting or an opportunity if I don't let him change the dressings?  Anyway, he's pretty squeamish, he couldn't even bring himself to cut our babies' cords at their birth so maybe it suits him too?  Maybe I should ask him.