A good Sunday

What was a pretty awful start to the we ended up as a pretty good end to it.

I was up until 4am thinking, crying, mourning this morning.  Maybe this is tmi but I was thinking about sexual encounters I've had in my life where my breasts played a starring role - and there have been quite some!  (I didn't mean to go that way but one jumped into my head and then others followed).  I was bereft to realise that this was in the past and wouldn't be repeated.  Maybe it's important to remember, though, and say goodbye and to move on the best I can, maybe I can't move on without being sad first.  Here's a thoughtful blog post.

http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/08/27/9-reasons-its-time-to-move-on/

Anyway, back to the daylight hours of Sunday.....

Friends in our road had offered to take both children for lunch and for the afternoon so we were blissfully free and calm this afternoon after homework stress this morning.  This was already an excellent thing.  Then a lovely visitor with a chicken and delicious organic veg and books, DVD and a great card in hand came through the door.  It was so nice to chat and share a green tea - the posh Kusmi detox one.

We had to get some more compresses as the nurse is running low so we went off to the pharmacie open in a nearby town to get some and dropped in on some friends who lived nearby for a coffee.  One of these friends asked dh for my number so she could call but she said she didn't call because she simply didn't know what to say and how she might find me.  She found it much easier to see me in person so she could see I was still me and I was the same person and not some pale shadow suffering in bed or on the sofa.

If I have any advice for you if you are hesitating about contacting someone you like who is ill,  I would say don't call because you don't know what state they will be in, probably simply delighted to hear from you but you never know and it's scary for the person calling because you don't know.

I would send them a text or an email or a card telling them that you are thinking of them.  If you want to open a conversation with them, tell them to call you, remind them of your number and they will call if they want to but it's equally just fine to let that person know they are in your thoughts.  It means A LOT.  Don't be scared.  It's worse when you do nothing.

Then another kind heart came through our door with books and chocolate cookies and fajitas and lots of love, all the way from Paris.  It is just so fantastic to speak to these generous, wonderful, sweet, thoughful friends.  The kindness today touched me (and my dh) to tears.  Not just today but the cumulation of the kindness that's been coming our way from all over.

I know my posts are not always cheerful or upbeat and I hope that nobody who has shown me such kindness feels that their efforst were for nothing.  I think it's normal to feel a lot of the stuff I'm feeling and If you had not been there to pick me up I would have disappeared through the cracks already, so thank you for keeping my head above water.