After effects of surgery

I didn't want to taint my good news post with moaning.  In fact I know some of you will be saying to yourselves (and someone did say it to me)  'ok the cancer's gone will you just stop complaining about your tits now?'  I understand a reaction like that because the goal of the op was to get the cancer out and check whether it has spread and good news is great news and if the goal is reached then the rest of the 'stuff' surrounding it is just stuff and a bit of moaning yeah?  Well, if you think that, please stop reading and let's leave this thing  finishing on a high note, ok, be glad for me, I'm cured, the cancer is gone, all is well.

However, it is, for all of you who are continuing to read, most definitely NOT the end of the story neither psychologically nor physically.  This cancer thing drags on and its effects are life lasting.  This is what you either don't realise or don't want to accept when you're first diagnosed.  You break a leg, it gets fixed, all is well.  Unfortunately, as I'm realising more and more, this is not the case with cancer and I am not ready to accept it yet but I will have to.

The surgery is still causing havoc.  My right nipple (the good one) has a necrosis (the skin has died on it due to lack of blood supply) so the skin has gone black.  I tried to save it by massaging the flesh around it frequently in the hospital as the surgeon spotted it as a potential problem straight away.  So, it didn't work and the surgeon spent some time during our appointment digging into my nipple to scrape away the dead black skin.  It was painful and quite disgusting.  You know it's gross when both the surgeon and the nurse say 'don't look, don't look'.  My nipple has the appearance of a crater now with a pretty deep hole in it and it bled a lot afterwards.  I felt quite ill after the appoinment and had to lie down for a bit.

During the appointment some stitches were taken out below the breasts, not all but I believe it's a gradual process so as not to put too much pressure on the newly healed skin.  It didn't hurt when they were taken out.  Slightly terrifying with a nurse wielding a scalpel near your breasts, so it's better if you don't look at that either.

She also took out the non dissolvable stitches on the grafted left nipple which has begun to bleed and ooze yellow liquid.  I'm told this is lymph and not pus and apparently this is an ok thing.

I'm still bruised and have below the surface bruises which are causing swelling and pain.  Below my breasts feels like I am on fire at the end of the day and it feels like someone is pricking me with pins on my nipples plus I have sharp pains and aches in my breasts from time to time.  I am constantly aware of my breasts and chest.